life changes
It was a Sunday afternoon this group of women would not soon forget.
They gathered at the invitation of Onika Mars, the owner of ELONIS International, a booming men’s and women’s fashion boutique.
But it wasn’t the clothes or fashion that brought them together that day.
These women were all there to discuss the damaging impact of domestic violence.
It had been almost eight years since Onika left her abuser, though this would be the first time she’d host an event to share about her journey.
Her idea, “Come Sit and Chat with Onika” would be the first of its kind in a community where many abuse victims are forced to cope with their pain alone.
For most of the women in attendance, this was the very first time they were able to speak about what they endured.
It was a night to talk, laugh, pray, but more importantly it was a night to release the burden they’d been carrying alone for so many years.
It was a night to not only see but hear that they were not the only ones abused by a loved one.
And since October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I asked Onika to share more about her story so we can continue to break the cycle of suffering in silence.
I’m a planner! A serious and dedicated planner.
I planned the birth of my first child…before I even had a mate.
I also planned my role on the PTA before that child was born.
I planned my career path, my type of husband, and I even planned where I would live. (Hey, go hard or go home! Right?)
Fortunately, none of these events unfolded the way I planned:
My first child was born ahead of my timeline. My husband’s daily life is not what I anticipated. I have lived in some interesting places, and the list goes on and on.
If you’ve been on social media lately, chances are you’ve come across the viral smash hit article “Don’t Be A Wife To A Boyfriend: 10 Lessons I Learned When I Was Single.”
Written by Shonda Brown White, her latest book bearing the same title, offers women an in-depth view into her journey to self-discovery, by sharing 10 key lessons learnt from her previous “situation-ships”.
Page after page, Don’t Be A Wife To A Boyfriend reads like you’re having a one-on-one conversation with one of your closest girlfriends.
Shonda is very transparent about her past struggles and candidly shares how her faith and failures helped transform her views as a single woman, when it comes to sex, love and relationships.
“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14 (ESV)
There are many things I can do well:
Being organized. Bargain shopping (or any kind of shopping). Braiding my daughter’s hair with minimal bickering.
But waiting?
I’m pretty sure when God was handing out the gift of patience, I skipped right past that line for something else.
Blame it on being the baby of my family for twelve blissful years. Or perhaps it’s because of my notoriously headstrong streak which dates back to my toddler days.
Whatever it is – I’m a huge fan of when everything and everyone around me moves in sync with my timing, my plans, and my way of doing things.
The world just seems to flow better when I feel like I am the one in control of my life and my circumstances.
So to hear the word “WAIT”, it’s the equivalent of someone trying to snatch that control out of my firm grip.
And my initial response is to put up a fight…even if it means fighting with God.