“[Our daughter’s] going to be a big sister… and…”
I thought this would be another routine visit to my ex’s place, except that day turned out to be anything but normal.
For the past five years, being the only woman to give birth to his child was my emotional safety net. It was a distinction no one else had.
But with one short sentence, my entire world came crashing down.
Honestly, I couldn’t process anything else my ex said after hearing those words. Mentally, it was as though I’d been hit by a Mack truck and lied waiting for the coroner to collect my lifeless body.
Granted, physically we hadn’t been together for quite some time. Yet emotionally, there was very much an attachment there.
Whether it was attending family events or consulting one another on major life events, our lives were unquestionably intertwined.
So to hear that someone else had taken over my position, it crushed my heart.
While I didn’t fully understand, (or appreciate) it then, this was exactly what I needed to finally break free from the dysfunction of dealing with my ex.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy. But there was no possible way I could continue being emotionally invested in a man who clearly didn’t love me.
Walking away was no longer a choice. It was now my ONLY option.
At times, life forces us to make these difficult decisions. Despite our best efforts and good intentions, we may have to walk away from toxic people or unhealthy situations.
Whether it’s in our friendships, business partnerships, or especially in our romantic relationships, we’ve all been guilty of holding on to people when God is asking us to let them go.
We hold on out of fear that someone new may never come around.
We hold on thinking we’ve invested too much of our time and heart.
We hold on because letting go takes us out of our comfort zones.
We hold on because letting go is never a fun or easy process.
But the hard truth is not everyone is meant to be a part of our lives forever. And it’s not always that they’re intrinsically bad people. Many times it’s simple because we’ve outgrown them or they no longer are beneficial for where God is trying to take us.
Figuring out who’s meant to be in your circle (and how long they should be there), will keep you surrounded by the right people at the right time.
It keeps you from avoidable hurt and unnecessary delays in your destiny.
Looking back, I am grateful that day changed the rest of my life. Had it not been for that moment, I most likely would have never left on my own.
Walking away forced me to let go of my dream of how life would be. It forced me to stop relying on myself and my ex and instead, I started trusting in God to bring me a happy ending.
It brought inner peace, a new sense of self-worth and self-confidence that had been missing for years.
Unquestionably, walking away was one of the best decisions I was forced to make!
Now whenever I sense God pushing me to close a chapter I don’t worry as much about what I’ll be loosing. I know that in the long run, everything will work together for my good!
“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing…”
Isaiah 43:18-19(a) KJV