Written by Tanisha Shanee exclusively for This Is Her Journey
May: The month where April showers blossoms May flowers. The month for new beginnings. And also the month where children celebrate their mothers.
For the last six years, this month has taken on a whole new meaning. What is supposed to be an exciting and wonderful season has turned into a very emotional time for me.
Why is Mother’s Day so emotional for me?
Well, I do have my mother with me, I thank the Lord, Jesus Christ for that. She is a beautiful, strong woman who gave birth to two beautiful women.
But, for some women like me, even though we have our mothers in our lives, we still feel pain on this day because of one word: MISCARRIAGE.
I’ll be honest. I did not always enjoy being a single parent.
For the first few years I constantly asked myself “why did I have a baby with him?”
It was never a question about my love for my daughter. I just wished there was a way I could have her without dealing with the drama and heartache of a failed relationship.
I’m sure I am not the only single parent that’s felt that way.
With close to 12 million single parent families in the United States, co-parenting is becoming the new “norm”. Whether never married, divorced, or separated, more and more Americans are having to learn how to coexist for the sake of their children.
Take it from someone who’s living it firsthand, it is not always easy!
Figuring out how to co-parent can be one of the toughest challenges any newly single mom (or dad) will face.
I knew there would be no coming back from this. I was about to break the cardinal rule and forever change the dynamics of our relationship.
Sitting in the waiting room, I quietly filled out my paperwork, while trying to drown out the nervous chatter racing through my head:
“You’re doing the right thing.”
“He’s left you with no other choice.”
“This is in the best interest of your child.”
It took some more self-convincing, but I finally walked towards the clerk to submit my forms.
And after what felt like a few quick glances and a stamp of her seal, it was official. My ex would now be responsible for paying a court mandated child support order.
For reasons I’ve yet to fully understand, when a custodial parent (which in most cases is typically a woman) files a petition for support, it can be seen as a declaration of war…or at the very least, an unforgivable betrayal.
“Then she became pregnant a third time and gave birth to another son. He was named Levi, for she said, “Surely this time my husband will feel affection for me, since I have given him three sons!” Genesis 29:34
It took a long time to believe the Bible could help navigate all the roadblocks of my life.
It’s not like I didn’t believe in God. I just never imagined a story from thousands of years ago could speak to my deepest hurt and unmask my hidden scars.
That was before I stumbled across the story of Leah and Jacob.
Tucked in between the pages of Genesis, their relationship could have easily been the main feature on any of today’s reality television shows.
It’s a story woven in rejection and entangled with love and betrayal. And it’s one that unexpectedly tugged on the strings of my single mom heart.