If you’ve been on social media lately, chances are you’ve come across the viral smash hit article “Don’t Be A Wife To A Boyfriend: 10 Lessons I Learned When I Was Single.”
Written by Shonda Brown White, her latest book bearing the same title, offers women an in-depth view into her journey to self-discovery, by sharing 10 key lessons learnt from her previous “situation-ships”.
Page after page, Don’t Be A Wife To A Boyfriend reads like you’re having a one-on-one conversation with one of your closest girlfriends.
Shonda is very transparent about her past struggles and candidly shares how her faith and failures helped transform her views as a single woman, when it comes to sex, love and relationships.
After sharing “Single, Saved, & Struggling” a lot of people asked how I became “so strong”. Privately, readers shared how they too struggle with sexual sin and are wanting to experience victory in that area of their relationship with God.
So today I’m sharing five steps that can help you resist sexual sin.
For the record, I don’t consider myself strong. This is still a struggle and I am still 100% dependent on God for His help.
Over the years I learnt different techniques to resist the temptation.
Some of the steps you may know already. And none of them are difficult. They will however, require a lot of practice and your complete commitment.
I pray that as you incorporate these steps into your journey, you will begin enjoying life – single, saved, and no longer struggling!
“In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.” Psalms 18:6 (KJV)
“God, help me!”
It was a simple prayer uttered plenty of times in the past, but this time was different.
Just minutes before, I was driving around town doing errands. The radio was tuned to the Gospel station. Instead of playing the latest hit records there was a special segment on relationships.
The host and his guests were sharing their journey to abstinence and how they now live completely satisfied in Christ.
This was not the average sex is bad and you ought to save yourself for marriage churchy type of conversation. Instead it was more like I love God but I also loved sex and needed Him to deliver me type of discussion.
Captivated by the dialogue, I couldn’t get out of the car, even after reaching my destination. Each person spoke with such transparency and conviction. It made me question if I too could finally conquer this area of my life.
You see, for most of my teenage and adult life, sex was my go-to drug of choice; it was what I used to escape reality to find comfort and companionship.
It didn’t matter that the effects would fade almost instantaneously. The temporary satisfaction was one I couldn’t seem to resist. And being saved did not automatically take those feelings away.
“Then she became pregnant a third time and gave birth to another son. He was named Levi, for she said, “Surely this time my husband will feel affection for me, since I have given him three sons!” Genesis 29:34
It took a long time to believe the Bible could help navigate all the roadblocks of my life.
It’s not like I didn’t believe in God. I just never imagined a story from thousands of years ago could speak to my deepest hurt and unmask my hidden scars.
That was before I stumbled across the story of Leah and Jacob.
Tucked in between the pages of Genesis, their relationship could have easily been the main feature on any of today’s reality television shows.
It’s a story woven in rejection and entangled with love and betrayal. And it’s one that unexpectedly tugged on the strings of my single mom heart.