“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” Psalm 34: 23-24
“Thank you for getting back to us. We will need your final answer by 10am EST on Monday. Have a great weekend.”
Have a great weekend?
With only 72 hours to figure out my next move, I knew my weekend would be anything but great. Faced with what would be a life altering decision, I immediately began to panic:
Should I take this opportunity?
Was this God answering my prayer? Maybe it’s the enemy trying to set me up for disaster?
What if I take this chance and things don’t work out, then what?
I knew I couldn’t move forward without praying. But every time I tried to pray, it felt like God was busy responding to someone else’s requests.
I’m a planner! A serious and dedicated planner.
I planned the birth of my first child…before I even had a mate.
I also planned my role on the PTA before that child was born.
I planned my career path, my type of husband, and I even planned where I would live. (Hey, go hard or go home! Right?)
Fortunately, none of these events unfolded the way I planned:
My first child was born ahead of my timeline. My husband’s daily life is not what I anticipated. I have lived in some interesting places, and the list goes on and on.
“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14 (ESV)
There are many things I can do well:
Being organized. Bargain shopping (or any kind of shopping). Braiding my daughter’s hair with minimal bickering.
I’m pretty sure when God was handing out the gift of patience, I skipped right past that line for something else.
Blame it on being the baby of my family for twelve blissful years. Or perhaps it’s because of my notoriously headstrong streak which dates back to my toddler days.
Whatever it is – I’m a huge fan of when everything and everyone around me moves in sync with my timing, my plans, and my way of doing things.
The world just seems to flow better when I feel like I am the one in control of my life and my circumstances.
So to hear the word “WAIT”, it’s the equivalent of someone trying to snatch that control out of my firm grip.
And my initial response is to put up a fight…even if it means fighting with God.
If someone would have told me ten years ago, that I would spend my Saturday night…at a church…in front of a group of people….preaching – well, I probably would have laughed at them, thinking they were ABSOLUTELY crazy.
You see ten years ago church and God were the two furthest things from my mind and my heart.
I was more focused on finding love and chasing after a man because I thought that would be the key to my happiness and fulfillment.
Never had I imagined my real joy and purpose would come from sharing about my life’s journey.
Every time I stand in front of others to speak, I am reminded of God’s extreme grace and mercy. I’m also usually battling with my nerves and doubting my abilities and qualification.
I’ll never forget the day a minister at my church put me on the spot in front of the entire leadership team. Everyone was getting ready to head home when out of nowhere he got the brilliant idea that we should take turns quoting one scripture verse.
Simple enough, right?
Well, I panicked. And instead of reciting my favorite scripture (Philippians 1:6), I awkwardly fumbled over a verse I thought would make me sound super deep and sanctified.