“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14 (ESV)
There are many things I can do well:
Being organized. Bargain shopping (or any kind of shopping). Braiding my daughter’s hair with minimal bickering.
I’m pretty sure when God was handing out the gift of patience, I skipped right past that line for something else.
Blame it on being the baby of my family for twelve blissful years. Or perhaps it’s because of my notoriously headstrong streak which dates back to my toddler days.
Whatever it is – I’m a huge fan of when everything and everyone around me moves in sync with my timing, my plans, and my way of doing things.
The world just seems to flow better when I feel like I am the one in control of my life and my circumstances.
So to hear the word “WAIT”, it’s the equivalent of someone trying to snatch that control out of my firm grip.
And my initial response is to put up a fight…even if it means fighting with God.
If someone would have told me ten years ago, that I would spend my Saturday night…at a church…in front of a group of people….preaching – well, I probably would have laughed at them, thinking they were ABSOLUTELY crazy.
You see ten years ago church and God were the two furthest things from my mind and my heart.
I was more focused on finding love and chasing after a man because I thought that would be the key to my happiness and fulfillment.
Never had I imagined my real joy and purpose would come from sharing about my life’s journey.
Every time I stand in front of others to speak, I am reminded of God’s extreme grace and mercy. I’m also usually battling with my nerves and doubting my abilities and qualification.
“[Our daughter’s] going to be a big sister… and…”
I thought this would be another routine visit to my ex’s place, except that day turned out to be anything but normal.
For the past five years, being the only woman to give birth to his child was my emotional safety net. It was a distinction no one else had.
But with one short sentence, my entire world came crashing down.
Honestly, I couldn’t process anything else my ex said after hearing those words. Mentally, it was as though I’d been hit by a Mack truck and lied waiting for the coroner to collect my lifeless body.
Granted, physically we hadn’t been together for quite some time. Yet emotionally, there was very much an attachment there.
“In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.” Psalms 18:6 (KJV)
“God, help me!”
It was a simple prayer uttered plenty of times in the past, but this time was different.
Just minutes before, I was driving around town doing errands. The radio was tuned to the Gospel station. Instead of playing the latest hit records there was a special segment on relationships.
The host and his guests were sharing their journey to abstinence and how they now live completely satisfied in Christ.
This was not the average sex is bad and you ought to save yourself for marriage churchy type of conversation. Instead it was more like I love God but I also loved sex and needed Him to deliver me type of discussion.
Captivated by the dialogue, I couldn’t get out of the car, even after reaching my destination. Each person spoke with such transparency and conviction. It made me question if I too could finally conquer this area of my life.
You see, for most of my teenage and adult life, sex was my go-to drug of choice; it was what I used to escape reality to find comfort and companionship.
It didn’t matter that the effects would fade almost instantaneously. The temporary satisfaction was one I couldn’t seem to resist. And being saved did not automatically take those feelings away.
As a mother, nothing can quite prepare you for the first time you lay eyes on your child.
The weeks and months leading up to their grand arrival are filled with nervous anticipation and eager excitement. We try to imagine what life would be like once our little bundle of joy arrives.
Will she act like me? Will he sound like his dad? How will it feel to hold her in my arms?
Every discomfort and every pain somehow magically fades away as you finally meet the little person who dictated your sleeping and eating patterns.
For some moms like Kerlene McCall-Woods, that moment can take an unexpected turn.
Living in Trinidad and Tobago, Kerlene’s journey in motherhood hasn’t always been paradise. Within hours of giving birth to her first child, Kerlene and her husband received a life changing diagnosis.
I recently asked Kerlene to share her motherhood journey because it is a reality for many moms around the globe.
While heartbreaking, her story isn’t filled with self-pity.
Her faith could have understandably wavered but through it all Kerlene and her family are determined to make the most out of the path God has chosen for them.
This is Kerlene McCall-Woods. And This Is Her Journey.