Love & Relationships

Single, Saved, & Struggling

“In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.” ‭‭Psalms 18:6 (KJV)

“God, help me!”

It was a simple prayer uttered plenty of times in the past, but this time was different.

Just minutes before, I was driving around town doing errands. The radio was tuned to the Gospel station. Instead of playing the latest hit records there was a special segment on relationships.

The host and his guests were sharing their journey to abstinence and how they now live completely satisfied in Christ.

This was not the average sex is bad and you ought to save yourself for marriage churchy type of conversation. Instead it was more like I love God but I also loved sex and needed Him to deliver me type of discussion.

Captivated by the dialogue, I couldn’t get out of the car, even after reaching my destination. Each person spoke with such transparency and conviction. It made me question if I too could finally conquer this area of my life.

You see, for most of my teenage and adult life, sex was my go-to drug of choice; it was what I used to escape reality to find comfort and companionship.

It didn’t matter that the effects would fade almost instantaneously. The temporary satisfaction was one I couldn’t seem to resist. And being saved did not automatically take those feelings away.

I was messing up so often I started believing there was no way I could possible live life without some form of sexual gratification.

To hear I wasn’t alone in my struggle made me challenge God to give me the same satisfaction the guests spoke of. While a big part of me remained skeptical, at that point I was desperate enough to try anything.

My struggle didn’t end that day in the parking lot. Like David in Psalm 18, I had to learn to cry out to God for help:

Help with not giving into the urges my body had grown accustomed to.

Help with staying away from tempting situations.

And the most difficult part – help in finding satisfaction and companionship in God and God alone.

In time, the more transparent I became in my prayers, the more strength I received to live a self-controlled life.

Was it easy? Did I always get it right? ABSOLUTELY NOT!  Some days I wouldn’t even try to resist the temptations. But thankfully God was always graciously waiting to answer my cry for help.

And He’s waiting to answer yours too.

Maybe your struggle isn’t sex. Perhaps it’s loneliness. Or discontentment. Maybe your struggle is trusting God’s timing during your season of singleness. Whatever your fight, know that God is waiting for you to reach out to him for help.

It doesn’t have to be an elaborate, well-executed prayer. God will hear your voice. Your cry will come before him. And it will enter even into his ears.

All you have to say is “God, help me!”


1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV): Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Hebrews 4:15 (NIV): For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.

Psalms 55:16 (KJV): “As for me, I will call upon God; and the Lord shall save me.”

1 John 5:3 (NLT): “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.”

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  • Reply Carol B

    I’m struggling with the desire to satisfy my flesh. I know the right things/scriptures but find it so hard in my present situation. Thank you for sharing your journey and tips

    05/21/2016 at 3:47 PM
    • Reply This Is Her Journey

      Carol, I’m praying for you. I know how hard of a battle it is but God is more than able. Don’t think so much about long term victory, take it one day (and one battle) at a time. Like you said, sometimes it’s not enough knowing the right things/scriptures. You have to put what you know into action! You can do this! God will give you the strength to not give in. And if you ever need a sister to lean, you already know where to turn.

      05/21/2016 at 3:57 PM

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