single mom

Why Did I Have A Baby With Him? Tips to Help You With Co-Parenting.

I’ll be honest. I did not always enjoy being a single parent.

For the first few years I constantly asked myself  “why did I have a baby with him?”

It was never a question about my love for my daughter. I just wished there was a way I could have her without dealing with the drama and heartache of a failed relationship.

I’m sure I am not the only single parent that’s felt that way.

With close to 12 million single parent families in the United States, co-parenting is becoming the new “norm”. Whether never married, divorced, or separated, more and more Americans are having to learn how to coexist for the sake of their children.

Take it from someone who’s living it firsthand, it is not always easy!

Figuring out how to co-parent can be one of the toughest challenges any newly single mom (or dad) will face.

Beauty for Ashes – How I Survived an Abusive Relationship

It was a Sunday afternoon this group of women would not soon forget.

They gathered at the invitation of Onika Mars, the owner of ELONIS International, a booming men’s and women’s fashion boutique.

But it wasn’t the clothes or fashion that brought them together that day.

These women were all there to discuss the damaging impact of domestic violence.

It had been almost eight years since Onika left her abuser, though this would be the first time she’d host an event to share about her journey.

Her idea, “Come Sit and Chat with Onika” would be the first of its kind in a community where many abuse victims are forced to cope with their pain alone.

For most of the women in attendance, this was the very first time they were able to speak about what they endured.

It was a night to talk, laugh, pray, but more importantly it was a night to release the burden they’d been carrying alone for so many years.

It was a night to not only see but hear that they were not the only ones abused by a loved one.

And since October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I asked Onika to share more about her story so we can continue to break the cycle of suffering in silence.

When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned

I’m a planner! A serious and dedicated planner.

I planned the birth of my first child…before I even had a mate.

I also planned my role on the PTA before that child was born.

I planned my career path, my type of husband, and I even planned where I would live.  (Hey, go hard or go home! Right?)

Fortunately, none of these events unfolded the way I planned: 

My first child was born ahead of my timeline. My husband’s daily life is not what I anticipated. I have lived in some interesting places, and the list goes on and on.

Tackling the Unforgivable ‘C’ Word

I knew there would be no coming back from this.  I was about to break the cardinal rule and forever change the dynamics of our relationship.

Sitting in the waiting room, I quietly filled out my paperwork, while trying to drown out the nervous chatter racing through my head:

“You’re doing the right thing.”

“He’s left you with no other choice.”

“This is in the best interest of your child.”

It took some more self-convincing, but I finally walked towards the clerk to submit my forms.

And after what felt like a few quick glances and a stamp of her seal, it was official. My ex would now be responsible for paying a court mandated child support order.

For reasons I’ve yet to fully understand, when a custodial parent (which in most cases is typically a woman) files a petition for support, it can be seen as a declaration of war…or at the very least, an unforgivable betrayal.

20 Back to School Declarations for Your Child

It’s that time of the year a10 popular songs for yourgain: when sleeping in late and days spent relaxing by the pool turn into a mad dash for supplies and waiting in those car pool lanes.

Yup, it’s back to school time!

Whether your child is starting kindergarten or their first year of college, heading back to school can be nerve wrecking for a lot of parents.

Worry about what the year might bring can easily trickle into our thoughts and our conversations.

But as parents or village people, (because it still takes a village to raise a child), we can decide to speak life giving words over our children.

At times we allow our fears and our anxieties to speak louder than our faith.

But Proverbs 18:21 tells us “the tongue can bring death or life…”  That means, with our words, we can change the course of our children’s future.