relationships

Don’t Be a Wife to A Boyfriend: 10 Lessons I Learned When I Was Single

If you’ve been on social media lately, chances are you’ve come across the viral smash hit article “Don’t Be A Wife To A Boyfriend: 10 Lessons I Learned When I Was Single.”

Written by Shonda Brown White, her latest book bearing the same title, offers women an in-depth view into her journey to self-discovery, by sharing 10 key lessons learnt from her previous “situation-ships”.DBWTB

Page after page, Don’t Be A Wife To A Boyfriend reads like you’re having a one-on-one conversation with one of your closest girlfriends. 

Shonda is very transparent about her past struggles and candidly shares how her faith and failures helped transform her views as a single woman, when it comes to sex, love and relationships.

When You're Forced to Walk Away

When You’re Forced To Walk Away

“[Our daughter’s] going to be a big sister… and…”  

I thought this would be another routine visit to my ex’s place, except that day turned out to be anything but normal.

For the past five years, being the only woman to give birth to his child was my emotional safety net. It was a distinction no one else had.

But with one short sentence, my entire world came crashing down.

Honestly, I couldn’t process anything else my ex said after hearing those words. Mentally, it was as though I’d been hit by a Mack truck and lied waiting for the coroner to collect my lifeless body.

Granted, physically we hadn’t been together for quite some time.  Yet emotionally, there was very much an attachment there.

Single, Saved, & Struggling

“In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.” ‭‭Psalms 18:6 (KJV)

“God, help me!”

It was a simple prayer uttered plenty of times in the past, but this time was different.

Just minutes before, I was driving around town doing errands. The radio was tuned to the Gospel station. Instead of playing the latest hit records there was a special segment on relationships.

The host and his guests were sharing their journey to abstinence and how they now live completely satisfied in Christ.

This was not the average sex is bad and you ought to save yourself for marriage churchy type of conversation. Instead it was more like I love God but I also loved sex and needed Him to deliver me type of discussion.

Captivated by the dialogue, I couldn’t get out of the car, even after reaching my destination. Each person spoke with such transparency and conviction. It made me question if I too could finally conquer this area of my life.

You see, for most of my teenage and adult life, sex was my go-to drug of choice; it was what I used to escape reality to find comfort and companionship.

It didn’t matter that the effects would fade almost instantaneously. The temporary satisfaction was one I couldn’t seem to resist. And being saved did not automatically take those feelings away.

5 Simple Tips to Survive Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is one of the few holidays that people either really love or really hate.

There are those who rightfully preach the message of showing love every day of the year. Then there are the people like me who see nothing wrong with having an extra day to be pampered and loved on even more.

If you can identify with that second category of people AND you’re single then chances are you’ve probably wished you could skip the month of February altogether.

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching (3 days for those who are counting) I’ve decided to share my 5 simple tips to help you survive this Valentine’s Day!

Just Friends?

“Nah bro. Ain’t NO way you’re just friends with shorty. YOU GOTTA BE hitting that!”

As blunt as this statement is, it’s one that I’ve heard on far too many occasions.

I’ve never had an issue maintaining a friendship with someone of the opposite sex.  Some of my best friends are women who I genuinely love, respect and admire.

But whenever I introduce my female friends to other friends or even family members, there tends to be some level of skepticism.

Some question the possibility of a platonic relationship while others question the appropriateness of the friendship simply because we are of the opposite sex.

I can somewhat understand their reasoning…somewhat.