If your social media timeline and news feeds are anything like mine, then you already know what season we’re in.
Holiday gatherings and New Year celebrations have ushered us into the what used to be one of my least favorite time of the year, ENGAGEMENT SEASON.
For those who may be unfamiliar with the term, engagement season is the time period between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. It’s during this particular stretch of the year where almost 40% of engagements occur.
Seeing photos, videos, and those most delightful relationship status updates plastered all over my social networks used to be a painful reminder of just how SINGLE I am.
It’s not that I wasn’t happy for my friends.
I was just tired of feeling like the ONLY ONE without a happily ever after.
That feeling of longing combined with my impatience rarely led to anything good.
My feelings are probably the reason why I ended up in so many bad relationships. (If you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out 7 Types of Guys You Should NEVER Date or Marry…Part 1 to see exactly what I’m talking about.)
Trust me, I know how easy it is to get discouraged by the tide wave of images you see on social media.
But before you make any rash decisions this engagement season, check out the final three types of guys you should never date or marry.
5. Mr. Unpopular
Growing up in a West Indian home, I knew if I brought a guy home, he had to be able to pass my family’s equivalent of a CIA/FBI/Homeland Security interrogation.
Given his passion for God, and his desire for something serious with me, I thought for sure Mr. Unpopular would have earned my family’s stamp of approval.
But NO ONE in my family or inner circle liked Mr. Unpopular. Not one single person!
He tried to convince me that they were all just haters.
I started pushing friends and family aside to be with Mr. Unpopular, until slowly it became us against the world.
As the relationship progressed, I started noticing the same red flags my family tried to warn me about. Only now, I had already invested my time and my heart in another dead end relationship.
I’m sure I’m not the only woman who has fallen into the appeal of a forbidden romance or a Bonnie and Clyde type of love. But ladies, if EVERYONE (or the MAJORITY) of your family and inner circle is telling you this guy is no good for you, PLEASE LISTEN TO THEM!
If these are people who have proven their loyalty and love to you in the past, you should know they only have your best interest at heart.
It’s so much easier to spot potential problems when you’re removed or not as emotional invested to a situation.
Listen to their advice; let go of Mr. Unpopular.
6. Mr. Unfaithful
I know what you’re thinking: this should be a no-brainer; an automatic deal breaker!
I completely agree with you…NOW…but a few years ago, that conviction wasn’t quite as strong.
When I first met Mr. Unfaithful our chemistry was undeniable.
Everything was perfect, until I found out he had a “complication”, a long-term girlfriend. (Remember, this is a judgment free zone 😳)
I didn’t cut things off with Mr. Unfaithful because as he explained it, his relationship had long became a thing of convenience rather than love.
In his words, meeting me “was the extra push he needed to finally end things between them for good.”
Mr. Unfaithful kept his word and broke up with his ex so we could be together.
I NEVER expected to find myself in the same predicament as his ex!
Of course Mr. Unfaithful had a good reason for his infidelity – we were broken up at the time and he didn’t think we would get back together.
Looking back, I know to avoid Mr. Unfaithful or any man that vaguely reminds me of his type.
As women we want to think our love is somehow special enough to keep his affection, but if he was unfaithful to get you, then he will most likely be unfaithful to you as well!
Don’t fall for the trap!
Remember your worth. Leave Mr. Unfaithful right where he is, with his girlfriend!
7. Mr. Dream Killer
Writing has always been my secret love.
More than a hobby, it’s how I best express my deepest thoughts and my feelings.
When I casually mentioned starting a blog to Mr. Dream Killer, he quickly told me he didn’t think it was a good idea.
You see, Mr. Dream Killer was well known in many circles. He had a reputation and a level of privacy that he wanted to maintain.
My blog – even though its intent would be to help women by sharing my personal life stories – “wouldn’t be a good look” for Mr. Dream Killer.
After that one, brief conversation, I dismissed the idea of blogging and never thought about it again.
That was a few years ago.
It wasn’t until recently that God reminded me of that conversation with Mr. Dream Killer. Had things worked out with him, This Is Her Journey probably would have never been.
As women we’re often encouraged to be our man’s biggest cheerleader and to be supportive of his dreams. Yet, it is just as important for us women to find someone who not only recognizes our purpose but wants to see us succeed and accomplish great things in our lives!
Dating men like Mr. Dream Killer and all my other exes forced me to reevaluate myself – my standards, my self esteem and my self-worth.
I realize now my feelings about not wanting to be alone drove me to make what frankly were dumb decisions when it came to love.
Over the years, God has taught me how to put my feelings aside and to stand solely on His word!
His word that says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
His word that He does have a beautiful plan for my life. (Jeremiah 29:11)
And that no matter what my relationship status, I can be content with my life! (Philippians 4:11).
I believe in His perfect timing God will bring my Mr. Right into my life. Who knows, he may be reading this story right now…Hi Mr. Right! 😉 😀 😉
I believe that God has someone lined up for you as well! He may be already checking you out from a distance! 🙂 😛
So instead of compromising or settling for less, let’s wait out this engagement season, and every other season that will come along, until its OUR TIME!
It will be more than worth the wait!